Longform gonzo journalism for Chronically Online Magazine — the kind of feature writing that started in Rolling Stone in the 70s and now lives in the corners of the internet that haven't been optimized to death.
Recent features
- Getting High with AI — drug-themed prompts, AI output, two-column format. Hunter S. Thompson voice with a 2025 brain.
- Bikini Killer (Criminal Investigation) — suspect-profile-style feature. The page shown above.
- Hypercolor Balloon Swords (Death March) — 90s-toy archaeology as cultural criticism.
- Glitch Sneaker Collage (Deals & Steals) — sneakerhead culture meets generative chaos.
- Phone + Phantom Hands (Angels & Devils) — internet-mediated decision-making, written like a confession.
Why I write it
Brand work is a different muscle. Longform gonzo is what keeps the muscle that brand work doesn't use from atrophying. I write for COM when the angle is dangerous and the editor will let me chase it.
Coming up
"Raw Deal" — peeling back the cartilage on the raw meat fetish. Sources contacted, including dietitian Shelley Balls. Steak tartare experience planned.